[F]Midlife Crisis

        I will start off saying that I do not know what I want to do with my life. When I was a kid I wanted to do something medically related but few years later I realized that it is not what I want anymore.I realized that it is what my parents want! Yesterday my brother asked me what I want to be. I told him I want to be a Physical Therapist. He said " Is that something you want to do for the rest of your life?"It made me think for a minute. I've also always wanted to be a fashion model; I want to do runways or pose for a magazine. However,being a fashion model is something I know I can never be. This dream will remain a dream forever. I do not know what is worse than wanting something you can never be.
       My current plan is to join the Air Force after high school and take advantage of the GI Bill, which covers up to 4 years of college after serving a minimum of 2 years or 3 years for full monetary benefits.With the benefits I can get from joining the military, I can get a Bachelor's Degree which is my end-game goal. But other than that, I do not really have an overall goal for my life.
      People say that if you do not know where you are going, you are doomed to go nowhere. I wish I can be the owner of the process of my life.I wish I can just pick a career out of the blue(without considering my strengths and weaknesses) and be successful. There is a lot of information out there about creating the life you want to live but it just does not work for me.  I am at level zero as far as life goes, well maybe not but it's where I would put myself. The bottom line is I am going to have 3 years to figure out what I want to be.
     But Mr. Sutherland told me that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Maybe he is right. Maybe I am just being too hard on myself and maybe I do not really have to pick a career right now. Maybe I do not have to plan that far and the opportunity will just come later.Who knows what the future holds?